I liked Bob
Dylan as a teenager and as a young adult. I
can’t say that I agree with all of his lyrics today, but he did get one thing
right. “The times, they are a-changing.” Whether they are changing for good or for ill
is for each of us to decide. But change
– it is inevitable. My father used to
tell me that the only thing that was constant was change itself. (Just to make the record clear, he also
taught me that there is a source to which we can always turn, that is constant
and that will never vary – our Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ). I remember this lesson about change when I am
experiencing adversity. I say to myself,
“This too will pass.” I also remember it
when things are wonderful, when my children are all doing well, the bills are
paid, health is good and life is comfortable.
I say to myself, “This too will pass, so appreciate and enjoy every
moment.” The way in which we react to
change in large part not only reveals, but forms, our character.
Forty years
ago I was a happily married young wife in my mid-twenties. Laury Kent Backman was not only my husband, but my
best friend. He was a kind, handsome, charismatic,
adventurous kind of guy, loved by the men he commanded and respected by his
superior officers. He was adored by his
children and me. We were married in the temple and so I thought we were just at
the beginning of our happily-ever-after story.
On a cold November morning in Japan, I kissed him goodbye as he left for
work. Several hours later, our branch
president and the military chaplain together came to tell me that he had lost
his life in an aircraft accident. Noooo!!! That news did not fit with my
idea of what reality should be. My world
came crashing down in one terrible, unexpected event. That I was devastated is an understatement of
gigantic proportions. As I awoke each
morning with fresh realization of the horrible truth, the world seemed somehow
off-kilter, as if I was in some kind of alternate reality. But facts were facts and I didn’t have the
luxury to wallow in self-pity or numbing despair. My babies and I were living in a foreign
country and I needed to get us home; I needed to help and protect (and feed) them;
I needed to help them survive, even thrive, without their daddy. I needed
to look forward, not backward. As I now
look back to those tragic times, I realize that two things brought me through
intact and as a better, stronger person.
One was my early and deliberate acceptance of an unwelcome change. I spent almost no time bemoaning my
situation, almost no time mentally playing the “if only” game. I accepted my situation and looked at what I
needed to do to make a good life for my children. The other was my faith in a loving Father in
Heaven to whom I turned and who did not abandon me.
The United
States has just come through a bitter election campaign season, perhaps the
most bitter in modern history. Each side
has been positive that their idea of what is best for our country is the right
one. Each side has painted the other as
evil, or uninformed or duped. Each of
the candidates has been painted by the opposing side as the most ugly, corrupt,
evil person to ever come to national prominence. Many persons on each side were convinced that should
the candidate of the other party win, our country and their own lives would be
plunged into the darkest abyss. I
believe that neither candidate is even close to perfect, but that neither is
the evil caricature he/she has been described to be. I believe that most people have the same
desires for their personal lives, for those of their families and for our
country. We just have different ideas
about how to achieve the results we all want.
Having differing ideas does not make those opposing ours evil or stupid
or motivated by malice. I am also convinced that none of the projected
calamities have happened, nor will they. I know for certain
that God has not abandoned us, nor will He, provided that we don’t abandon
Him.
Howard and I
stayed up very late to watch the inauguration from start to finish. Living overseas and learning about (and in
Howard’s case, experiencing first hand) how power is transferred in some other
countries makes us appreciate so very much our American system of choosing a
leader and peacefully transferring power from one to another. We were impressed by the attendance of
representatives from the other branches of government, especially that they
came from both political parties. The
attending dignitaries obviously understand this amazing and important example to
all the world. Democracy cannot exist
without this peaceful transfer of power.
Once there is a large enough group which refuses to yield power and
which is willing to resort to violence, democracy comes to an end. And so
we were moved by this most democratic of processes. And while we have not embraced the policies
or philosophies of our out-going president, we were impressed by his and the
former first lady’s gracious behavior in the transition. The election of President Trump meant the
repudiation in some degree of the Obama legacy, and yet the example and
behavior of the (now former) first couple was beyond reproach. We were impressed by the graciousness of President
and Mrs. Obama in greeting Mr. and Mrs. Trump to the White House. We were impressed by President Obama’s last
press conference in which he expressed hope for the future. We were impressed by Mrs. Clinton’s gracious speech
to her supporters the day after the election.
We were impressed by Mrs. Obama’s last speech. It all was dignified and gracious and
classy. Again, the way we respond to
change reveals our character. We can all
learn from the example we have just seen.
And we can be assured that God has not abandoned us and that our country
can and will move forward with hope toward the future as we peacefully work
toward that future.
Accepting a
change in church leadership can also be difficult at times. Brigham Young was a very different type of
leader than was Joseph Smith. Some just
could not accept him because they didn’t like his brash personality. The press of his day didn’t do him any favors
either. But he was used by the Lord to
accomplish a formidable task. In the
early days of the LDS Church in Ukraine, the members loved the foreign
missionaries and the foreign mission president.
They saw them as great leaders worthy of their loyalty. It was more difficult for them to accept
leaders called from the local branches. (“How
could you call and trust someone whose father was KGB?”) The fact that changes in church leadership now
occur without criticism and reluctance to accept a new leader shows the spiritual
maturity of the Ukrainian members.
We have had
several changes in church leadership recently.
Our temple president, Frank Trythall and his wife, Nancy, have completed
their service. President Gerold Roth his
wife, Gertraud, have replaced them. We
love both the Trythalls and the Roths! Interestingly,
John and Carol Galbraith, first temple president and matron just visited this
past weekend. They were enthusiastically
greeted by the members and the love for them was very evident. (We love them too). Their fireside was well
attended and inspiring. They will always
be loved, as will the others who have succeeded them in their service. Elder Bruce Porter completed his mortal
journey and was released as area president of the Europe East Area. Elder James B. Martino has replaced Elder
Porter in assignment and responsibility.
Just Sunday, our stake president, Kirill Pokhilko was released so that
he can prepare to assume leadership of the St. Petersburg, Russia mission. He was replaced as stake president by Igor
Kravchenko. The visiting authorities
making the change were Elders James Martino and Larry Kacher of the area
presidency. And back home, President
Steven Allred was released as stake president for the same reason – a call to
serve as a mission president in Argentina.
None of
these persons receiving church callings and assignments sought the positions to
which they were called. There was no
lobbying, no campaigning. In fact, when
a call is received, the most common reaction is one of deep humility and a
sense of inadequacy. These callings are
filled at great sacrifice in time, effort, missed economic opportunities and great
emotional investment both from the one called and from the spouse and family. We appreciate and love each of the Lord’s servants who accept a call to serve, from the highest position of leadership to the
least visible of callings. It
doesn’t matter where we serve; what matters is our devotion to the Lord and to His
children. Not only do we accept these
changes with humility, but we also pledge to sustain, support and help each
person as he/she serves the Lord by serving us and others. None of these men (in these examples) or women
(in other cases) are perfect. The Lord
works miracles through his imperfect servants, because not only is that all He
has to work with, but because His work is to perfect his children. That is done as we humbly and faithfully
serve in our own ways, and as each of us welcomes such changes in leadership and
do our part to encourage the success of our new leader servants.
Yes, change is
inevitable and it can be very difficult.
Yet, it is in the times when we are out of our comfort zones that we
learn and grow the most. I thank my
Father in Heaven for the many changes, both welcome and unwelcome, which have
come in my life. I am not the same
person I was 40 years ago. Hopefully, I
am a wiser, kinder, more patient person, more seasoned in faith. I love the Lord with all of my heart and
thank Him for never abandoning me, especially in the times of my greatest stress
and anxiety. Yes, the times, they are
a-changing. That can be a good thing,
depending upon our response.
My favorite inauguration picture. What a great example to us those two ladies are!
She may not have won the election, but she supports democracy and attended the inauguration. Another good example.
A peaceful transition of power.
Stake conference. Those with eagle eyes might find us on the right.
Our new stake president at the podium.
Our old stake presidency and our new stake presidency in one picture. The three men on the right are the old stake presidency. The three men on the left are the new.
